This site uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide services and advertising.
By continuing to browse, you agree to the use of cookies described in our Cookies Policy.
You may change your settings at any time but this may impact on the functionality of the site.
To learn more see our
Cookies Policy.
Download our app
Turkey sucks, and it's time we were honest about it
IT’S TIME TO get real. Turkey sucks.
Wikimedia Wikimedia
Sure it’s a Christmas tradition and all, but looking past the stuffing and the gravy, the cranberry sauce and the ham, is it worth the effort? The answer is sadly no. Here’s why.
1. Buying one is an ordeal in itself
How big should we go? Do we do boned and rolled, a crown, or a full turkey? HELP US, MEAT GODS.
2. It never fits in the fridge properly
Whoops!
We couldn't find this Tweet
The family must perform something akin to fridge Tetris to get it in. Sure, you might take a few shelves out, but it’s still in there looming over everything like the Incredible Hulk.
If it’s a particularly cold winter, just leave it out back and pray the cat doesn’t get at it.
3. It takes a ridiculous amount of time to cook
Right, dinner is at 2pm… So I suppose we’ll wake up to get the turkey ready at, hmm, 6am?
4. And during this time, Christmas tensions reach their peak
At some late stage in the cooking process, Auntie Mary suggests you put on the carrots, and you have visions of flinging a saucepan at her.
Tumblr Tumblr
But don’t blame your aunt, blame the turkey! It’s tearing your family apart!
5. At the end of all that, it’s really not that nice
SO dry. Familial tensions rise again as the gravy threatens to run out. We need that gravy! We’re parched!
6. And everyone’s just hoping for more ham
Delicious, juicy ham.
Tumblr Tumblr
7. In summary, turkey is just a bigger, more stressful, and less tasty chicken
#ChickenFTW
The Bounty is the worst Celebration and everybody knows it>
This photo claiming to show how Quality Street tins have shrunk has enraged the internet>
To embed this post, copy the code below on your site
Christmas christmas dinner christmas food Ham Turkey turkey time